Author Archives: Senti

One of the blessings we have as a family is to lead worship and sing songs to the LORD together.  In the picture above we led a song at a local church called “My Church”.

Here is the first of the EQUIPMENT series lessons:

Exalt: (Session 1)

 

Pray

While it can be assumed that a disciple of Jesus is gathering with believers in corporate worship at least once a week as humans need a seventh day of Sabbath and fellowship, this session concerns the individual’s responsibility and joy to foster a lifestyle of worship.

 

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit have been in a dance for eternity past, present and future of giving glory and praise to each other, although they are one.  We were created to love and to be loved.  This is what God has been doing forever and will continue to do.  The Father brings glory to the Son.  The Son brings glory back to the Father.  And the Holy Spirit is the dance between them.  We, as the Bride of the Son, are called into that eternal dance.

We must begin here if we are to minister out of an overflow rather than out of burden.  Our ministry can flow out of joy rather than obligation.  And as we praise God and focus on Him, the bigness of our problems decreases.  Worship is the only thing we can never do too much of; God is the only thing that we can totally indulge ourselves in.  There are no boundaries to it, nothing is too exaggerated.  When Mary poured very expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet He did not stop her, but rebuked those who tried to.  And we can worship God in the midst of any good activity, whether work or play.

What things to you do presently to foster a lifestyle of worship?

 

Practice lecteo divina, that is meditate, on Isaiah 6:1-7, Revelation 1:12-18, and Revelation 4 by reading them through a few times and then write down your thoughts.

Sing “Open the Eyes of My Heart”, “As the Deer”, and “I Exalt Thee”

 

Assignment:

 

1. Everyday find a time to sing at least one song of praise, a hymn or spiritual song; otherwise at least listen to one and/or read a Psalm out loud. Remember the importance of repetition when immersing the mind, soul and spirit in worship of Christ.
2. In at least one conversation, e-mail, phone call or letter, think of some way to share about some aspect of the majesty of Jesus.
3. Do something extravagant this week in your worship of Christ and consider sharing a little bit about it with someone before the next session, without defying the secret life of a believer as Jesus teaches about in the sermon on the mount (in other words keep in general and let the specifics stay between you and your Father in Heaven)

Above: Here is my son Elisha Titus fully equipped for battle!  Are you equipped?

EQUIPMENT  was written in 2009 as a team/Sunday school curriculum that I now preach quite a bit in local churches.  Many have found it helpful so I’m going to make it available on the blog:

This is a nine session series following this acronym E.Q.U.I.P.M.E.N.T and beginning with five sessions for the equipping of the saints.  It is like taking a Christianity 201 course, where the Alpha course is more like Christianity 101.  It is for the sake of those who are called by Jesus into the next step from salvation into service.  Jesus called 12 persons to be his disciples that they might be leaders once they had been through three years of training with Him.  He also called 72 persons out of the crowds to join the twelve in ministry.  This course is for those who may not be called to leadership, but are nonetheless called to ministry.  Leadership is not superiority, but only a different calling.  Leaders will be judged more strictly by God, people and angels of light and darkness.  If people are interested in leadership they should speak to those who have already been appointed leaders by elders in the church and elders/servant leaders should decide if they are ready, not the persons themselves.  The first give sessions are focused on who we are in Christ, our being in Christ.  The last four sessions are focused on our practice of ministry, our doing for Christ.  Each session build on the previous session, thus they must be taken successively.

 

The first session of the series is Exalt, to exalt Christ with a lifestyle of worshipping Him.  This will help disciples minister out of an overflow rather than out of a “drained pipe” so to speak.  This is the purpose of life itself and vital to any minister’s success.

 

The second session is on Qualifications, particularly for ministry/service of Christ.  1st Timothy 3 has a list for the qualifications of a deacon/deaconess.  Now this series is not set up to make someone into a deacon, but the word does simply mean “servant” and so the qualifications are something any disciple can benefit from observing.  The list of nine qualifications will be read, and those involved will pray for whatever character traits they desire the Holy Spirit to grow in them.   

 

The third session is Understanding, particularly understanding Grace and Truth.  If a disciple understands deeply, not just as a matter of head knowledge, that he or she had nothing good in and of themselves, but God gave all people a measure of goodness and then especially eternal righteousness in Jesus to those who believe, they will have Grace for themselves and others.

 

The fourth session concerns Intimacy with Christ.  To be intimate with Christ Jesus one must learn to receive His love and this is absolutely vital for success in ministry.  Our service must flow out of our intimacy with Christ.

 

Perseverance is the subject of the fifth session in the EQUIP acronym.  Once a disciple has learned to live a lifestyle of worship, prayed for the character of Jesus, understood Grace and Truth, and begun to grow daily in intimacy with Christ, he or she can have patience for God, themselves, and others.  A disciple must learn to persevere in faith and in relationships with others.  There are nine fruits of the Spirit and patience is one of them.

 

Once a disciple has been equipped, he or she is ready to take on the Equipment for the practice of ministry.  Thus Ministry is the sixth session and the first of the equipMENT aspect of the acronym.  In this the disciple learns to discern his or her most important gift of the Spirit and then put it into practice that week.  There are nine gifts of the Spirit.

 

The seventh session is to Enfold one other person and be enfolded by someone else, or in very small groups.  Discipleship is about walking along-side each other and pointed each other to Christ.  A disciple must find someone not as far along in that journey as ourselves and intentionally walk alongside them in genuine friendship to point them to Jesus.  A disciple must also find someone further along in the journey, at least in some way, to point them to Jesus also.

 

From this the disciples’ New calling will emerge, which is the eighth session.  Using the gifts and skills the Spirit has given us and putting them into practice a group of disciples will help one another discern their calling in prayer.  This involves new horizons and one must never say never when it comes to where or how God will call him or her.

 

Finally the disciple must learn to Testify in the ninth session.  Disciples will testify to what the LORD has taught them and done for them not only in this session but also in their lives.  Disciples will then be encouraged to keep on testifying to those they meet with it is appropriate.

So next week I’ll start with the 1st lesson- to Exalt Christ as a lifestyle of worship.

 

What is the identity of this US President in the picture above?

 

The secret president’s name is Abraham Lincoln, built with duplo legos by the Senti boys, Johnny, Elisha and Peter

On the topic of secrets, I believe we are called to live a secret life before God:

The Secret Life

What we do in secret matters

The secret life of righteousness in Christ for the Father by the Spirit:

One of God the Father’s favorite ways to show His love for us, I think, is in the little gifts He gives us. When my wife was in college she ran out of shampoo and had no money for anymore. She prayed and in a couple days she won a contest at the college, not knowing what the prize would be. You can imagine how pleasantly surprised she was when she found out it was, yes, you guessed it, shampoo. How many stories I could tell just like that; they are too many to count. And we could always explain them away, but it becomes too uncanny to do so after a while. Some very personal Being is looking out for us. We just know it.

But it isn’t usually the big things in which He does it, though we’ve seen Him heal and cast out demons and change lives, like He’s changed our own (and that usually over a period of years.) Rather, it is usually in the little secret things He does for us that we see His ongoing love.

And then let me suggest that He loves it when we do the same for Him. What do I mean? When we do little things, that no one else sees but Him, we show that 1- we believe He exists and 2- we believe that He rewards those who seek Him. (See Hebrews 11:6 in the Bible; try the New International Version.)

Jesus reminds us to give to those in need as anomynously as possible so that only the the Father knows. He suggests that for prayer and fasting too. (See Matthew 6:1-18 in the Bible; check out the New Living Translation version) And we can do lots of little things like that. We can live a whole life like that for His glory.

Other folks might not understand us, they might wonder, well, what are we doing then? We might not look very important to others, but we will be special to God.

Living in Bellingham I’ve heard some criticism of Lynden, where I grew up, but I would suggest there are a lot of older Dutch folks in Lynden who give to the needy, sometimes nearly all they have, for the sake of Christ and the poor, but most folks would never know it. Some of them are older widows and I’ve heard it whispered by some of the deacons in some of those churches. But other folks would see them and might even judge them as hypocrites. But God sees what they’re doing and blesses them for it with the blessing of an intimacy with Him that is like secret lovers giving each other gifts. How cool is that!

Let’s do that in our own ways too and not live our lives worrying about what others think or even our own feeble estimation of ourselves but believe what God thinks- He loves us! He shows it all the time. I hope we have eyes to see it and we can bless His heart right back! How? By secretly serving others. By being faithful in those little ways that only He sees, but we know He wants us to do.

What does that secret life look like for you?

My wedding ring reminds me not to take my wife for granted, nor the worldview that brought us to this blessed point of 14 years of a happy marriage.  Which relates to this question of a new reformation:

The not so new reformation?

In the last blog post I suggested that a new reformation is occuring in the church, by which folks are suggesting a new means of authority for those who follow Christ as His primary means of speaking to us on Earth; that is through Scientific and Social theory. For them the progression of Christ’s revelation to mankind runs as a single line from the abolitionists to sufferage to the civil rights movement to the current feminist movement to the current understanding of gender and sexual orientation. Now I would not say these are unimportant and that God is not teaching us through all of them, but it’s probably clear to anyone reading these blogs by now that the Scripture is to me the primary means by which Christ exerts His authority on Earth. Thus I am more inclined to say that the earlier movements flow from Scriptural revelation more than the later movements having to do with human rights. But my main concern, again, is not to debate those issues, but to point us to the question of authority and how Christ speaks to us.

So here I want to suggest that this new Reformation is strikingly similar to many movements throughout Church history and therefore not as new as it first may appear. For instance, as the Roman Catholic Church developed, the interpretation of Scripture, for instance, became more and more complex and resided only with a very few elite intellectuals who were said to be able to interpret it properly. They would interpret the written Word based on Latin translations and commentaries, then commentaries on commentaries, justifying all kinds of strange church traditions, such as indulgences and corruptions of that church. The Vatican became sexually deviant and grossly corrupt with greed, violence and power-mongering.

It was this development of interpreting Scripture by the intellectually elite only, with great complexities and strange justifications, that led the Church away from the authority of Scripture. No longer could the people interpret Scripture from its plain meaning and apply it to their lives. It was this that led to the Crusades, this that led to corruption. If people had been able to hear the Word in their own language and interpret it with the help of gifted pastors, Jesus statements about loving enemies and servant leadership might have changed history dramatically.

The same thing happened when certain German theologians and philosphers introduced higher criticism to the interpretation of Scripture. Soon, its true interpretation could no longer be plain to the common person, because of course there were centuries of historical and cultural changes that kept anyone from truly understanding the written Word in any significant way. Once again, the common man could not understand it and the path to what was called Liberalism in the Church was paved. That is not to say that the questions raised were unimportant and that we have not benefited greatly from those challenges that this movement raised to the traditional understandings in the wider Church concerning Scripture, but it dramatically changed the intellectual communities’ trust in the plain meaning of the written Word. All the top universities caved in to this pressure, including Harvard, Yale and Princeton in the United States.

John Calvin and the Reformers brought the Church back to the plain meaning of Scripture based on studying the original languages, which would greatly influence the wider Body of Christ dramatically. Evangelicals also influenced the wider Church towards this understanding, so that the Second Vatican Council changed a great many practices in the Roman Catholic Church in part as a result of Evangelicalism’s growing influence.

And today I have noticed more and more folks within my own denomination and others like them who are claiming more and more complex interpretations of Scripture that reside with their little intellectual groups, in order to justify practices and interpretations that seem much more pleasing to the world and less and less true to the plain meaning of the Sciptural texts in question. It is easy, when we have grown up with plain understandings of these texts, to take that for granted and to be reactionary by choosing the meaning that makes us feel better with the current pressures of the world we live in and the culture of our time. This is done usually in the name of being more appealing to folks that have not grown up with the written Word or a Christian worldview. The temptation is to think that if we couch the Gospel in just the right way, that our athiest and agnostic friends will be so pleased they will join us in our faith as well, because of course nothing would stand in their way. We think our churches will grow in this way and we’ll all be much happier in the end. However, they forget that the reason folks don’t believe in Christ is not because the church just isn’t friendly enough for them. There are much deeper reasons than intellectual obstacles. There is a bottom line that we have been crucifed to the world and the world to us. Until folks’ eyes are opened spiritually they will not believe, however appealing we try to make it sound. It’s either real or it isn’t. No amount of human appeal will change that, only the Holy Spirit of God. By all means let’s get rid of obstacles to the Gospel that are unnecessary to true faith, such as North American Christian cultural assumptions- and there are probably many- but let’s not compromise the true faith in the process.

The other reality in the case of the Roman Catholic Church is that more folks claimed Christianity, but it was simply washed out and thus the true Church was weakened, not strengthened by that movment. Additionally, the liberal churches of mainstream Protestantism have declined significanly while Pentecostal and Reformed churches who hold up what are considered “conservative” views have grown immensely. If we simply become like the world, what is the point of being part of the Church? The world may as well stay as it is and we will be in danger of having a church club for people that don’t really believe anyway, but enjoy having a “church” to belong to because they grew up in it. In that case, we have nothing to share with the world that has any real meaning or life-change. And I daresay that is not the result of the true Gospel. Anyway, that’s my view for what it’s worth.

In an article written in our denominational magazine called the Banner, a certain author questioned the doctrines of Original Sin and the Atonement based on the current Scientific Theory of Evolution. Now I myself am open to discussion and debate surrounding both of these spheres of influence: theology and science. I have friends with an Eastern Orthodox leaning that would question both the doctrine of Original Sin and the traditionally Reformed view of the Atonement of Christ. Also I enjoy considering how Scientific theory can be understood, especially in light of Scriptural revelation. I don’t mind healthy debates around these issues at all.

But my concern is with the assumptions behind what the basis for these arguments are. What authority are we appealing to? My last two blog entries had to do with hearing God’s voice and how Christ’s authority is exerted on the earth. My concern with the above mentioned article was that its appeal was made, within the context of a church magazine, on the basis of the authority of Science over and above the authority of Scripture, or at least equal to it.

As I said in the beginning I believe that God’s creation is one of the books He gives us to read in order to understand Him and all things. However, Scriptural revelation is a special revelation and must be over and above general revelation, and then, in both cases, we must deal with our interpretation of that revelation.

Let me explain: if general revelation is allowed to have equal authority (or even greater authority) than special revelation (Scripture) within the context of the church, then we have nothing less than a new reformation on our hands.

A reformation is always about authority. The reformers tried to challenge the Roman Catholic church and were excommunicated from it largely on the basis that Christ’s authority on earth was primarily exerted through Scripture and not the interpretation of the Roman Catholic Church. They wanted that Church to have a higher authority that it was accountable to because they believed it had left the truth of the Gospel of Grace.

Now there is a significant group within some Reformed churches suggesting that Christ’s authority on earth is exerted as much or even more through Scientific Theory and Social Theory as Scripture itself. One of our denomination’s confessions, the Belgic Confession, beautifully states: “We know Him by two means: First, by the creation, preservation, and government of the universe; which is before our eyes `as a most elegant book… Second, He makes Himself more clearly and fully known to us by His Holy and divine Word…” which in this case refers to the written Word. Notice that it says, “more clearly and fully known”, putting special revlation over and above general.

The reason that our denomination decided that folks who believed women should be elders could clasp hands in fellowship and communion with those who did not was that both sides based their convictions on the authority of Scripture. Here we were still solidly Protestant among the traditions of the wider Church. But now within our denomination there is an appeal to Science and Social theories but almost not at all to Scripture to justify certain practices within the Church. I do not suggest those theories are irrelevant, but I do suggest they must bow to the authority of Christ through Scripture.

The defining characteristic of Reformed and Protestant churches is not how we do baptism, philosophies such as Kyperanism or any other more disputable matter within the larger Body of Christ, but it is our view on the authority of Scripture that makes us Reformed in our identity, flavor and gift to the rest of the Body of Christ. (In our case that includes our confessions as a common interpretation of Scripture.)

But now we are faced with a new reformation within our fellowship and what we decide concerning it will define or redefine us. If others wish to start a new movement, let them do so. But as for me and my house, we will not bow our knee to the authority of Scientific and Social Theory over and above Scripture.

(Next time I’ll exlore why this might not be as much of a “new” reformation as I make it sound)

How do we know if we’re hearing from God as individuals?  First, does what we think we are hearing line up with Scripture as a whole?  We must frequently read and understand Scripture and its plain meaning in the context of community as often as possible in order to claim any understanding of it.  But God will not contradict what He has said before.  Contrary to increasingly popular belief He never has contradicted Himself within the context of Scripture or history.

Thus we must not say, “God told me to leave my spouse for someone else.”  That would clearly be a contradiction of God’s revealed will in Scripture.  We need Scripture of course, because our own ability to discern God’s voice is greatly limited and can easily get off course without it.  As a pastor I often find myself encouraging people to go directly to the person they are offended with and work out the problem just between the two of them.  But the response I sometimes get is, “I feel like God is telling me not to talk to that person anymore.”  Or a flat refusal to go to the person but a great readiness to talk about that person with others, especially me, in order to get affirmation that the other person is in the wrong.  When Jesus commands His disciples to “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you…” (Matthew 18:15 New International Version) it is not a nice suggestion.  To do otherwise destroys community and yet it is practiced all too frequently.  I’m certain there are many such things that could be used as examples.

But what happens when something doesn’t seem to be addressed directly in Scripture?  We use Scriptural principles to make such a decision.  “Love your neighbor as yourself,” (Leviticus 19:18 NIV) is a golden principle to use for instance.  But we must also check what we think we may be hearing from God in community – that is with other Christians – too see if they affirm what we think we are hearing.  It might be good to say something like, “I believe that God is saying…what do you think?”

Some would suggest this is a lack of faith, but it seems clear that such a check demonstrates humility and a willingness to be sharpened on something by other folks who we trust are also considering God’s Word and will.

Finally, we must consider circumstances as an affirmation of whether or not we have heard accurately the voice of God.  If a believer makes a predictive prophecy for instance, which is certainly a possibility within the bounds of Scriptural revelation from the past, there is a simple test: if it comes true it is from God.  If it does not, then it is not from God.  (See Deuteronomy 18:22)  Such an inaccuracy should at least be acknowledged and more caution and humility used in the future before that person is given opportunity to do so again.

What if I become afraid because of a word that I’m sensing could be from God?  What kind of fear is it?  Is it a fear of God that leads to repentance and life or a phobia of some ill omen?  Remember that godly sorrow leads to repentance and worldly sorrow leaves regret that brings death.  Conviction will be freeing and help us to change in fruitful ways, but condemnation will keep us in a general feeling of worthlessness and unfruitfulness/death.

But what if a word takes away my sense of happiness?  Some would call this the test of “peace”; in other words when I say I’m at peace about it that really just means I feel pleasure in it.  Some would say this is the ultimate test to see if something is from God.  But I would suggest this is not a good test.  I person can feel such “peace” about leaving their husband or going back on their word because it’s easier for instance.  A good peace test would be whether it causes quarreling and strife between people within Christian community.  Scriptural peace, that is shalom, brings wholeness to community not just a feeling of tranquility and pleasure to an individual at the expense of others.  If that kind of “peace” was the bottom line test, then we may as well all start smoking marijuana or even more effective would be shooting heroin because that would solve all such problems.  Shalom, rather, brings peace between peoples and bears righteous fruit for all involved.

Mental illness or having an overactive imagination can also be a factor in folks thinking they are hearing from God when they are not.  For any person fears and strong wishes can be confused for God’s voice.  But for some folks it is very difficult to be able to discern reality from fantasy, but all the same tests can be used (Scripture in context, community is vital! and circumstance) to come back to a place of rationality.

All that said, yes, God can and does speak to His people.  Are we listening?  Are we too quick to think it is God?  To slow to believe that He could?  We must always remember it comes through the filter of our minds and hearts, which interprets what we perceive.  We must always carry such things with humility, wisdom and above all, with love.

(Next time we’ll look at the new reformation)

Can we hear God’s voice? If so, how?

According to my tradition there are two books by which God speaks to us:

The book of creation is something we read all the time. Theologians call this general revelation. We know from this book that there is a God because of the intricacy, design, complexity, vastness, power and magnificence of the things He created. We also know that there is such a thing as right and wrong and must question how we know this. There is obviously endless information we can learn from this book as well.

The other book is the Bible. This is called special revelation. This book is considered, according to my tradition, the primary means by which God speaks to mankind, especially to His chosen people. We do not believe that our interpretation of them is infallible, but that the written Word itself, is so. Thus the Scriptures are the highest authority for us to understand God’s voice to us.

Now the Scriptures themselves declare that in the these last days God has spoken to us by His Son. (See Hebrews 1 in any version) All traditions agree, within Christian discipleship, that the Person of Jesus Christ is the primary head of the Church and the Way that leads us to know God. The question for each tradition is how Jesus exerts His authority and voice on Earth to mankind and His chosen people.

In Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox tradition it is believed that Christ exerts His authority primarily through the Church and its traditions. In Charismatic and some Anabaptist traditions (such as certain forms of Quakerism), He exerts this authority by the inner voice of God’s Spirit to believers themselves. And as stated previously, in Protestant tradition He exerts that authority through the Scriptures primarily.

(There is a new reformation happening currently that seeks to claim Christ’s authority through general revelation and particularly through science and human rights as the primary way in which Christ’s speaks, but we will pick up that topic in a couple weeks.)

All three of the classic traditions of the church are true and important. We might call the older traditions the Crown of Christ, the Protestant tradition the Sword of Christ and the Charismatic/Contemplative tradition as the Torch of Christ. After all the Scriptures were compiled through the authority of the Church and we believe that the Spirit of God was leading the Church through that process.  We need the Crown, the Torch and the Sword to hear God fully.  But I believe the Scriptures are the primary authority by which Christ speaks on Earth, and thus I am a Protestant.

The problem with all three traditions is that they involve human interpretation. The Roman and Orthodox Church interprets Christ and Scripture by its own traditions. Charismatics and Contemplatives are interpreting what the Spirit is saying to their minds to the best of their ability. And Protestants are interpreting Scripture, but not infallibly so. Probably the best thing we can do then is to approach our traditions with humility and admit that we “…know in part, but when perfection comes (we) shall know fully, even as (we are) fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12b New International Version)

Yet can God speak to us as with an inner-voice of His Spirit, individually and corporately as believers in Christ? Yes, I think so, because the Scriptures themselves tell us so.  There are countless examples of this and no reasoning given from Scripture itself that this has ceased to be the case.

So next time we’ll consider how it is that we might know if God is indeed speaking to us in this way…

Judas or Peter?  Which one are you?

All of us have betrayed Jesus and denied Him.  There is no exception.  “All have fallen short of the glory of God,” as it is written in the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans.  It was our sin that nailed Him to the Cross; we would’ve deserted Him for our own survival, if left to ourselves.  We might have joined even in the mockery of Him at His coronation, with the crown of thorns and the torn purple robe.  “Behold the Man,” Pilate said according to the Apostle John’s Gospel account.  We would’ve joined in the sense of shame, not wanting to be associated with Him, the failure, the loser.  In one way or another we all come equally guilty before the Cross, equally in need of a Savior.  It is what we do with that reality that matters.

Do we have worldly sorrow or godly sorrow?  In the Apostle Paul’s second letter to the Corinthian church, he contrasts these two realities.  Godly sorrow leads to repentance that brings life, whereas worldly sorrow leaves only regret that leads to death.

Peter was an example of godly sorrow.  After he denied Jesus, he shed tears, joined with his friends and when Jesus appeared he ran to Him and waited expectantly.  Of course Jesus restored him.  Three times he denied Him.  Three times He restored him.

But Judas went to the place of idiocy, the place of the self, and shed tears, but then beat himself up, punished himself, until he finally killed himself.  That was a worldly sorrow that left only regret and led to death.

Which sorrow do you have when you’ve realized you’ve messed up, that you’ve sinned?

Do you beat yourself up, play the conversation over and over in your head, feel about yourself and then punish yourself in hopes that somehow you can make up for it?

Or do you come to Jesus in prayer and wait expectantly for His forgiveness and live life?  Do you then have a readiness to focus on Him and do what gives life, and even the next time the temptation comes as the opportunity arises?  I hope it’s the latter.  It still can be if it hasn’t been.  May it be so for all of us.

{The final chapter of “A Table For Three” an example of theater as comedy in one act}

Tami:  Rob, you don’t have to be so rude.

Chris:  Yes, really I’m just asking a question, Rob.  So what do you say Tami?  Are you serious about the relationship?

Tami:  Well, I don’t know… it’s really too early for me to tell.

Rob:  Too early?

Chris:  Excuse me Tami, but I think your halibut is getting a bit cold.  You really should take a bite, it’s wonderful.

Tami:  Oh, that’s true, I should.  (She takes a bite of her food.)

Chris:  How is it?

Tami:  Very good actually.

Rob:  Please, this is no time for eating.

Chris:  Well now, Rob, we are in a restaurant and just because you don’t like your ribs doesn’t mean the rest of us shouldn’t eat our food.

(Rob is speechless.  Tami eats another bite.)

 

Chris:  It’s good then?

Tami:  Oh yes.

Chris:  Do you mind if I…do you mind if I try a little?

Tami:  Of course not.  Go ahead.

Chris:  Thank you.  (He takes a fork, leans over and tries some, savoring the bite.)  Hmmm… that’s wonderful.  Do you mind if I have a little more?

Tami:  Go right ahead.

(Chris takes another bite and ends up sitting down next to her and they join in the meal together.  Rob lets out a great sigh of disgust and puts his head in his arms on the table.)

 

Chris:  Is something wrong, Rob?

(Rob just makes a strange noise as he keeps his head in his arms.)

 

Chris:  (shrugs his shoulders and turns back to Tami, smiling)  You know, if you’re still unsure about this relationship with Rob, or if things don’t work out with him, I’m quite available.

Tami:  Really?

(Robs sighs again.)

 

Tami:  Oh I don’t feel right about that, being on a date with Rob and all.

Chris:  Well, Rob doesn’t seem to be the nicest person in the world and you really just need to get to know me before you know for sure.

Tami:  Well I…

Chris:  Okay, okay.  What is your favorite kind of food?  Fish?

Tami:  Yes, I suppose so, but…

Chris:  And there you go! We already have something in common.  What kind of music do you like?  Jazz?  Rock?  Pop?

Tami:  Well, I like all of those I think.  It depends on the…

Chris:  Astounding!  Superb!  And so do I.  Amazing, isn’t it?  And what is your political party?

Tami:  I’m a democrat.

Chris:  Are you?  (a little taken)  Oh.  Well, I’m a republican, but…that’s all right, that’s all right.

Rob:  (looks up suddenly)  You’re a republican?

Chris:  Oh yes.

Rob:  So am I.  A Reagan fan?

Chris:  Absolutely.  The best.

Rob:  Definitely.  I mean trickle-down economics is brilliant.

Chris:  Well, we’ve got to take personal responsibility for our money.  We can’t have the government deciding where it will go.

(They lean over and get into the discussion.)

 

Tami:  Guys?

Rob: (ignoring her)  Exactly, personal responsibility is the key.  And what about those Bush’s?

Chris:  (smiling)  Now there’s a father and son!  How did Clinton ever get in office?!

Rob:  (chuckling)  I don’t know, the draft dodging horn-dog!

(They both chuckle.)

Tami:  Guys, I’m not feeling so well. (She gets up and gets her purse.)  I think I need to get going.

Rob:  That’s great, Tami.  (still looking at Chris)  Anyway, what was your name again?

Chris:  Chris.

Rob:  Well Chris, I’m a member of the Republican national convention and we’re looking for some helpers with the upcoming campaign.  I don’t know if you’d be interested but…

Chris:  Oh I’d love to help out!  What do I need to do?

(Tami pouts and storms out of the restaurant.  Rob and Chris barely notice her leave and shrug their shoulders.)

 

Rob:  Well, I can get a hold of my friend and he can hook you up with the paper work and…

(The lights go out except for a spot on Chris.)

 

Chris:  Hey, at least I get my tip!

(Lights out.)

 

The End.

 

 

{Continuing an example of theater as comedy…}

 

(Chris comes back shortly.)

Chris:  How are we doing here?

Tami:  We’re fine.

Chris:  Can I get you anything else while you wait.  An appetizer perhaps?

Rob:  No, thank you.  We’re doing great.

Chris:  Oh really?  That’s good.  (He waits and smiles at them.)

Rob:  (looking up at him)  Thank you, we’re doing fine.

Chris:  (turns to Tami)  And how are you doing?

Tami:  (smiling)  Fine, thank you.

Chris:  Good.  (He smiles and nods again.)

Rob:  (impatiently)  Could you just leave us alone for a minute…

(Just then the order bell rings.)

Chris:  What?  Oh, that’s your order.  Let me get that for you!  (He departs.)

Rob:  (He looks at Tami fondly.)  So how are you doing tonight, Tami?

Tami:  I’m doing really well, Rob.  I’m really enjoying myself.

Rob:  (taking a drink)  Good.  I wanted to talk to you about something.

Tami:  Really?  What is it?

Rob:  (He clears his throat.)  Well, it’s our relationship…

(Suddenly Chris shows up with two dinner plates.)

 

Chris:  Well, here it is!  For you… (He sets Tami’s plate in front of her.)  And for you…(He looks sourly at the food and sets it in front of Rob.)   Your RIBS!

Rob:  (insincerely)  Thank you.

Tami:  Yes, thank you.

Chris:  Oh you’re welcome.  And can I get anything else for you?

Rob:  No, we’re fine!

Chris:  Excellent.  (He waits there.)

(Rob looks up at him.  He looks back, smiling.  He looks at Tami and smiles.  She smiles back.)

 

Chris:  And what was your name again?

Tami:  Tami.  And yours?

Chris:  Chris, my name is Chris.

(There is an uncomfortable pause mixed with smiles and frowns accordingly.)

 

Rob:  Don’t you need to wait on some other tables?

Chris:  No, yours is the only one.

Rob:  Well, don’t you have something else to take care of?

Chris:  No, really I’m fine right here.

Rob:  Maybe you could find something else to do.

Chris:  No really, I’m quite all right.  (There is another pause.)  Oh.  Am I interrupting your conversation?

Rob:  Yes, you are!

Chris:  Oh, don’t let me interrupt.  Go right on talking.

Rob:  But how can we…(he sighs)…oh well!  I don’t care anymore!  Tami.

Tami:  Yes, Rob?

Rob:  Where is our relationship at?  I mean, where do you see it going?

Tami:  Well I…

Chris:  Oh you’re both dating then!

Rob:  Yes, we are!

Chris:  That’s nice.  And how long have you been dating?

Tami:  About three months now.

Chris:  So are you both serious then?

Rob:  That’s what we’re trying to figure out, you freak!

 

{Find out how it ends next time…}